God-Life-You

With my 50th birthday approaching, I urgently felt the need to live more deeply, more passionately, more intuitively. I committed to allowing Life to lead me and I agreed to walk through any door that opened. Within weeks I received a postcard in the mail offering jobs for psychologists. I filled out the application form, fantasizing about life without billing insurance.

Near the end of the application I realized that the position was in a state penitentiary. My model for being a psychologist was Carl Rogers as he described therapy sessions in On Becoming A Person. I had learned well how to listen, how to practice presence, how to be available. I understood unconditional positive regard and accurate empathy. I had practiced for over twenty-five years and loved the work.

But work in a men’s prison? I doubted that Carl’s theory was based upon his interactions with felons. Did I know what it took to function appropriately there? But I had told the Universe that I was available and, so, I went. And my life changed forever.

I worked with humans living and struggling with what it means to be human. Some decide it’s too hard to hold onto their humanity and sink to a level they think is easier. Most have experienced drug addiction, trying to relieve the pain from unhealed wounds decades old. All have a place inside which terrifies them.

And I saw that the inmates are no different from the rest of us who also struggle with the challenges of being human. We also veer between despair and confidence. Self-acceptance eludes all of us. But at our core, we humans seek to know the truth about ourselves.

These essays reflect what I have seen and experienced since my 50^th year when I have worked with inmates at a state penitentiary.  Not only did I learn about life in prison, I learned that we are all in a prison of our own choosing. Our fear uses our thoughts to limit our aliveness. And that internal prison proves to be devastating.